A man with no resolve ...

So Christmas is almost done, presents are opened, waistbands expanded and the dust has started to settle. Floors are once again clear of discarded wrapping paper (and those plastic tags that seem to be on every corner of every toy?) and the sound of children bickering fills the air. So in this haze of relief and sadness at the passing of Christmas, our head’s start to clear and we move onto New Year unabated.

And so, there I was, lay in bed this morning, thinking about the New Year and about what resolutions I may be considering. What would be the good intentions that I would / could / maybe set off with into 2012.

So here they are ... but for a man with no resolve, what’s the odds of any of the following happening??

Farts and burps – so apparently it’s not good practice to break wind loudly in front of the kids or teach them to burp ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’ on demand??  Now I see these as essential life skills and ones that should be actively encouraged during their formative years, however now that they’ve been trained I suppose there’s no problem with trying to stop it myself.  

Abstinence – ha ha… I may say this while drunk at midnight on the 31^st December, but in reality, as if this is possible. The best intentions of a ‘dry January’ will be sadly thrown out of the window by the time I arrive for a family New Year Dinner and have spent 10 minutes in a world of ‘outlaw’ madness.

Television – this year I may reclaim the TV!!!  Ah.. I remember a time, a time before children (yes I have a good memory) it was a lovely time, one where I could get up and read the papers while casually sipping on coffee and watching the news in peace and tranquillity. Then along came my two gorgeous girls and since then my world has moved from Cbeebies through to Nick Jnr and with it my disengagement with my own TV.  Now, I did try to solve this last year with an new extension and a shiny new televsion, but instead now I have two rooms with two different kids channels on.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.. or maybe a Nintendo, or a dog or a doll??

So here we are, just three more short days until my favourite day of the year...Christmas Day!!!  Now I’m thinking that as normal I should be really excited about the impending festivities. But instead, as I type this, I am without doubt in a state of confusion and dysfunctional chaos while trying to determine what to do next and also how to never let this sorry situation happen again. So, as my act of attrition, I write this as a cautionary tale for parents everywhere, for those relaxed folk who think, like I did, hey it’ll be ok ! or it’s a bit early for that ! we can do that whenever.. .. this is my tale ...  a tale of .... ‘The Christmas List’

Ok, in order to give this a little context and because this is my first proper blog, I’m a dad of two lovely little girls, daughter 1 is almost 10yrs old and daughter 2 is nearly 8yrs.  Both are gorgeous and both are very different in character...

Now, given that daughter 1 is nearing her final year of junior school, it’s fair to say that her belief in the ‘bloke in red’ is at best tested at this time of year...  she has friends with older siblings and those that are just that bit more sceptical and those that just plain know. Now I know for a fact, that she knows that he doesn’t exist and that she knows that I know that she knows, but bless her she won’t actually say it out loud!! ... It’s almost that thing that an admission of knowing may actually ruin it for her and that somehow she wouldn’t get any presents. So, instead whenever the subject of sending a letter to Santa comes up, or a very dodgy looking Santa arrives on our doorstep then she just casts her head towards me and gives me a knowing wink.